My Memory Faileth Me...

...which is not surprising, since my "About Me" paragraph reveals that I am 98 years old. This is the story I told at a recent gathering with my extended family:

"Did you guys know that when we lived out in the boonies I found a rattlesnake curled up outside the front door one morning? The kids were scared to death, and so was I, but I had to do something, so I got a shovel and whacked it's head right off..."

At this point in the story Hubby peers in my direction with a quizzical look on his face. "Did you just say that you killed that rattlesnake?"

"Yeah, don't you remember it?"

"I remember it alright. I remember it because I killed it."

I mulled that one over for a minute, until I realized that he was right. It was all coming back to me now - how I cowered inside with the kids while Hubby killed the snake.

How weird. I totally thought it was me.

I wonder what other fiction my mind has made up.

With that in mind, I've decided to forgive the following unfortunate incidents, just in case they never really happened:

1. The day Hubby taped over the birth of our son with an episode of Ellen
2. All the times my so-called "friends" FORCED me onto roller coasters, even though they know I am afraid of heights. They always convince me it will be fun, but it never is.
3. The first time my oldest child said, "Mom, don't do that in public"
4. The day my brother-in-law played his wedding video at a family gathering and kept rewinding to the scene where I attempt the booty shake, giving everyone a jolly laugh at my expense.
5. The time that Deal or No Deal passed on me as a contestant even though I left my 4-year-old daughter in the hospital in order to keep a video-conference-call appointment with them. Hey, I'm not proud of it, it's just something that happened.
6. The doctor who made me wear a neck brace to school for three days (in junior high!) before he called my parents and said, never mind, I didn't need it after all.

It's going to be hard to think of what to do with all the time I have on my hands now that I'm not nursing all these grudges anymore. I guess I could always make up some new memories.