Friday, August 7, 2009

Debunking a Myth

All my life I've been told to keep a notebook by my bed so I can write down all the great ideas that come to me at night. Apparently, 98.3% of all genius inventions, best-selling novels and delicious new recipes come to people in the dead of night, when their subconscious is busy being way smarter and more creative than their conscious self ever could.

I've been keeping a night notebook for several years now, maybe a few months, or like a week, and I think I have some real winners so far:

Idea #1: Create a cell phone application that allows calorie conscious folks to weigh their meat before they eat it to make sure it's the appropriate 3 oz. I realize that this involves putting raw meat on the face of your cell phone, but it's worth the risk. Besides, who has room on their kitchen counter for those pesky little scales?

Idea #2: Illegible

Idea #3: Bring back the Swatch watch. I realize kids these days don't wear watches anymore, what with the cell phones and all, but it's time for a comeback. Besides, I'm still bitter that I never had one when I was a teenager, so this is my chance to work through those emotions.

Idea #4: Become a ghost hunter, helping people rid their houses of spooky apparitions. I'm pretty sure this one came to me on a Friday night after a particularly absorbing episode of Ghost Whisperer. Of course, I used to pee my pants just playing hide-n-seek, but I'm pretty sure I've outgrown that since it last happened. I mean, that was way back in December.

Idea #5: Make and sell my parents' homemade diaper rash cream. I would tell you what it is, but the recipe is top secret and we may file for a patent. Not too many people can say they're in the business of healing butts, so this idea is really at the top of my list. Actually, my sister thought of this idea, but the memory of her telling me has become so fuzzy that it's as if I dreamt it, so I assume I own the rights to the plan now.

There are quite a few more ideas in my notebook, each one as compelling as those listed above. I guess I'm just wondering, though - if my subconscious really is smarter and more creative than my conscious self, do I really have anything else to look forward to in my life?

I think I'll put an end to it all by mixing up a lethal combination of Pop Rocks and soda.


The Crider Clan said...

I'm gonna start keeping a notebook by my bed and see what wacky ideas come to me in the night! As of now, I have had zero good ideas in the night, but the notebook might just cure me of that...right? I still think the food scale idea is a good one! :)

Signe said...

The Balluff Butt Cream is actually useful in many sweaty, easily rashed areas. I would be more specific but this is a family blog.

Oh I keep a container of it in my bathroom. It is really useful-even as a dry skin lotion too!

I get some good ideas at night, but there is no way I will get up to write them down. My last good idea came during a long road trip. Maybe we should go on one together.