World Domination

If you will kindly take a moment to scroll down to the bottom of this page and look at my ClusterMap on the left hand side, you will get a lot more out of this post.

Having scrolled down as directed, I'm sure you can see that I have many friends, indicated by the numerous red dots on my ClusterMap. While I love my American friends, I have been particularly delighted to see that I have also acquired friends in Australia, Saudi Arabia, Russia and England. And if you think I had to Google a world map to identify those countries marked by my red dots, you're wrong. I used Yahoo. So, to my new international friends I say: G'day, marhaba, привет, and hello. And I also say, this post is taking a lot longer to write than usual, since I have to keep looking things up.

I'm guessing you're not all that surprised that word of my dry wit and robust writing style has leaked across the oceans, but we musn't ignore that possiblity that my international friends stumbled upon my blog by accident and have no intention of ever coming back.

Yeah, right! That was just a joke. Of course it was my writing, duh!

So, dear international friends, declare yourselves and your intentions. Are you fair weather friends who only visit once, or will you be around through thick and thin, which is an American idiom meaning through foul weather or fair, which is another idiom meaning never, ever leave me...I am desperate for your friendship. I hereby swear that if you continue your faithful readership I will include more proper language in future posts, dear English friend. I will dress in my most modest attire when writing, in deference to my esteemed colleague from Saudi Arabia. I will immediately throw some shrimp on the barby for my Aussie mate. And finally, I will knit a pair of extra warm mittens to send to my Russian compatriot (just as soon as I learn to knit and update the prescription on my glasses so I can see to do so. Cataracts.)

To my 5 regular readers from Arizona (all of whom are related to me, btw): this is a great service opportunity for you. All you have to do is write a rough draft of a nice comment for me, then look online to translate your comment into another language, then post it to make me think that I am, in fact, on my way to world blogging domination, as well as perhaps the world's longest run-on sentence.