Thursday, November 6, 2008

Having a Dilbert Day

I'm glad I work at home now. Offices are weird places. Here are some things I have learned at the office that I don't miss:

Things inside the copy machine labeled “Hot – Do Not Touch” are hot and should not be touched.

A fake anthrax letter, although funny, is not an appropriate gift for Bosses’ Day.

On a related note, the police really aren't into practical jokes.

Some of the fun is taken out of Xeroxing your backside when the copy machine prompts you to use the oversize paper in Tray 2 (So I've heard. I would never do this.)

When your boss asks you to come into his office and close the door, you should probably wait to see what he wants before you start explaining why you sincerely thought that you WERE an authorized signer on the company's checking account.

The question, “Does anyone have a problem with that?”, when posed by a supervisor, is generally rhetorical.

The office Christmas party is a good place to socialize, get to know your co-workers’ spouses, and reminisce about the past year. It is not a good place to try break dancing for the first time, or to unveil your semi-autobiographical novel entitled There Are Only 6 Bullets in my Gun and I Hate 12 of You.

When your Christmas bonus is a membership to the jelly of the month club, you’ll know that Mark in accounting actually went through with his embezzlement plans.

When you sneeze loudly and a co-worker says “God bless you” she really means “You’re disgusting and I hate sitting by you.”

To my current co-workers (yeah, right, like they read this blog): None of this is about any of you. You are, collectively, a joy to work with. I'm serious. I am.


Steve and Nanci said...


Great blogging, you go girl. The office comments probably apply to every office I have ever worked in.


Signe said...

Now you've got me wondering about your working environment. More particularly the environment that you are....Hmmmm Good thing I really know you!

Connie said...

This is hilarious. When i was prego, I had BAD allergies and sneezed about every 12 seconds. My co-workers actually DID tell me I was disguisting and hated sitting by me. They got over it- but not until I got over my allergies. Oh how I miss that office...