High School Football From a Mom's Perspective

Training, Day 1: "Okay, honey, I washed and pressed your practice uniform. Try not to get it too dirty, k? And don't get hurt!"

Training, Day 7: "The most essential thing I must accomplish today is to put together a carpool. These 5:30 a.m. practices are killing me!" Insert sarcastic comment from teenage son here about who these practices are really killing.

Training, Day 14: "You have to sell how many fundraising coupon cards? 15?! What, the $400 we already gave the school for the privilege of summer weight training and football camp isn't enough to get you guys through a season? Geez louise."

Training, Day 21: "A white t-shirt? You don't have any white t-shirts. I have given up trying to make your t-shirts white. Coach will just have to live with you showing up in a brown and green streaked formerly white t-shirt. You're lucky I still wash them at all."

1st game of the season: "Yeah, buddy, I'll be there. So will Dad, 2 sets of grandparents, 3 aunts, 2 uncles and one neighbor twice removed. By the way, you look so super cute in your uniform!" Inject a gagging noise from teenage son here.

2nd game of the season: "Umm, yeah, I'm coming. Is the coach thinking of letting you play this time? Well, can you ask him exactly when? If I come at halftime I get in free."

3rd game of the season: "Okay, well, I for one am glad you never get to play. I don't have the money for crutches and casts and things anyway."

4th game of the season: "No, he didn't get to play, but did I tell you he has straight A's?"

5th game of the season: Note to self - post ad on Craigslist to sell 2 stadium seats, 3 fundraising coupon cards, and 27 used-to-be-white t-shirts. I can't wait for track season.