Monday, May 18, 2009

Keepin' It Real

So I'm sitting here skimming through a women's magazine when I spot an article titled "Holiday Fun". Since I would like to have fun this holiday season, I decide to read the article. Mostly when I skim magazines I read the article's title only, make a hasty judgment call about its worth (usually negative), and then move on. So far today I've already passed on "Eat Your Way to a Healthy Heart" (if it doesn't involve cookies, I'm not into it), "Look Sexy in a Swimsuit Again!" (never did before, so probably not gonna happen now), and "De-Clutter Your Closets For Good" (puh-lease).

There should really be more honesty in writing. I mean, wouldn't it be great to see an article called, "I Threw a Rock at My Neighbor's Dog at 3:00 This Morning, Then Felt Guilty and Couldn't Sleep, So I Should Have Just Stayed In Bed To Begin With". Kind of wordy for a title, but at least we can all relate.

And what about that Ladies' Home Journal standard, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" I used to get all excited reading that question every month, because I really wondered, can it? Sometimes I would make myself wait three full minutes to read the actual article just to increase the suspense. But guess what? It's saved. Every single month, month after month after month, always the same. Saved. And I'm left sitting there thinking, "I thought the divorce rate was much higher than this." I mean, it's good news and all, but shouldn't they just call their feature, "Another Marriage Saved" and stop the charade?

People should know what they're getting into when they start reading something. That's what's so great about children's books. When you see a book called, Anthony's Purple Hat, you can be pretty sure what that book is about. It's refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing? According to my "Holiday Fun" article, "making homemade wassail, putting on your holiday finery and entertaining those you love". Sigh. It would have been more honest to say, "Work yourself into a frenzy cleaning your house, try to find 5 friends who would want to come over for a refreshing sip of wassail, whatever that is, and then quickly sew yourself a holiday frock, since you can't afford finery." How fun!

Instead, I think I'll go get a cookie to eat while I read the rest of this magazine. And that's the honest truth.


The Crider Clan said...

another great one Lecia. I agree that those articles are usually useless...but they always entice me anyway! Those articles are probably written for people that can go outside in the summer without melting! Happy Summer!

Kent and Jan said...

We really enjoyed your post, Lecia. It reminded me of a book I saw last year titled, "How to Eat Anything You Want and Die Like a Man!"

Keep it up!

Andrea said...

Yeah, in most cases you know what you're getting into with the children's books. But you should ask Melissa if you can see the book "What's so Scary?" that she checked out from the library...Just do it! I liked this article by the way. The part about throwing the rock at the dog, classic! :)